


these 5 years

by valkyriies



Category: Avengers, Endgame - Fandom, MCU, Marvel, avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Character Meta, Endgame, Gen, endgame spoilers, platonic friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 00:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18728446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyriies/pseuds/valkyriies
Summary: a small introspective look into snippets of Natasha's life during those five years in Endgame.





	these 5 years

 

 

      i. she would dance. Often. It was consistency, something to  _ grasp.  _ She had control of this.  _ how---when---where _ her feet landed against waxed floors.

 

     ii. she cries. Not in front of people. Not on the off chance that Steve comes to visit her--- _ which he makes a note to do at least twice a week.  _ But during those in-between moments, when there are no meetings to hold. No emails to answer. She finds herself as she  _ often _ has in life---- **_alone_ ** _.  _ And she cries quietly out to the universe, asking  _ why?  _ Isn’t she not supposed to be this?

 

iii. she gets progressively worse at covering her excitement when Steve visits. The smile fills up a room--- _ her essence _ . She always invites him to stay longer and sometimes he does, caving to those  _ eyes  _ that are silently begging:  _ please stay _ . 

They watch movies. 

And on these nights, she doesn’t cry. 

 

iv. when Morgan is first born Tony and Pepper bring her to the compound. the baby feels foreign in her arms.  _ A baby? When was the last time? _

She sits, quietly staring at her face--- **memorizing it** , like something  _ holy _ . 

 

v.  she keeps her hair the way it is. She lets it grow. No more covers. No more aliases. No more hiding. She shows herself to the world  _ really--- _ and invites it to challenge her.  


 

vi.  Okoyo tells her she can’t live on peanut butter sandwiches forever and convinces her to eat two  _ real  _ meals a day. she teaches her  _ little _ things---what to buy, how to prepare it.

She practices making spaghetti for Steve. 

 

vii. She finds contentment in Rocket’s calls and _eventually_ even looks forward to them. A brief relief from the real world and the tragedy that constantly suffocated her. 

Someone to pick on and someone to return the gesture. It reminds her of the years past. The jokes, laughs, moments that  **_they_ ** _ all shared  _ in the tower.

But this was as close as she got and that was fine with her. 

 

viii. The nightmares are frequent and unwavering, but she becomes accustomed to them as she has done for so many things before. 

 

xi. She’s  _ so tired.  _ She silently prays to  **_anything_ ** _ willing to answer her  _ that one day her family will be able to rest, and that maybe this is all just a bad dream. Of course, she is not naive enough to believe it herself----but maybe one day she can.

 

//hope y’all enjoyed! I know we’re all hurting from endgame and thought some Domestic!Nat might help. I love her character and if you want more stuff like this let me know! Or if you just want to comment what your thought of this I’d love to hear it of course <3 -grace


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